Make New Friends and Be Damned Sure You Keep Your Old Ones...A Fabulous Post from Jenny's Happy Life

Today we're featuring a fabulous Sound Off post from Jenny at Jenny's Happy Life. I'm sure you can relate to what she's experienced and if you do, then feel free to share your story too!

EXCERPT FROM JENNY'S HAPPY LIFE

I have always had friends. Not because I'm popular or irresistible, but because I thrive on friendships. It's been this way since kindergarten. I talked so much my teacher moved my seat next to her desk...but then I talked to HER.I envisioned adult friendships to be so connecting, close, open and trusting. You know...like a sorority of thirty-somethings who do play dates, shop together, take our kids to the park together and so on. I thought we'd be able to talk about intimate issues and not be judged, have something personal occur in my life and it would stay confidential. I thought. All of this day-dreaming took place prior to me actual becoming a parent, you see.Fast forward a few years, a husband and a few babies.Did you see Heathers, way back when? Freakin LOVE that movie. Well, add a few years, a husband and a few babies. That's what my social life has been like as an adult. Not when my kids were babies. When my kids were babies I could only find friends who wanted to talk about coupons and recipes, and that was almost just as grueling.Now that my kids are all in elementary school...and we live in a SUBDIVISION...now the claws are out. I will break down the categories of women I have met:

*Women who want to be my friend so I babysit their kids.
*Women who want to be my friend so they can talk about other women with me, and then heaven forbid I so much as say "yeah" to what they are saying, that evil woman goes back to the person SHE was talking about and says I was talking about her.
*Women who only talk about coupons and recipes just like the boring baby moms.
*Women who I just adore but their kids aren't the same age as my kids. Doesn't "mesh" well.
*Women who I just adore who have kids the same ages as my own, but they don't live in my neighborhood. That means I actually have to put shoes on to drive to their house. They may as well live in Zimbabwe for that matter.
*Women who I adore but they are busier than I am, so I always feel like the sucker fish trying to get together. "How about next week? No, you're busy. Next month? Next year? Please?" It's pathetic.

I wanted so badly to have a close friend live next door and we could get together for coffee every morning after the kids were off to school. My mom had that. My husband's mom had that.
We had a family move into the house across the cul-de-sac a couple of years ago. With KIDS! Around the same ages as MY kids! It was December, so I took a platter of cookies on a cute little holiday tray over to their house to welcome them to the neighborhood. After talking for a few minutes I asked her if she worked. When she said "No", I said "Maybe we can get together for coffee or something."

She said, "You're not gonna stalk me, are you?"

Me: " "

What do you say to that? I think I mumbled "I wasn't planning on it" or something like that. I knew already it was doomed.

I'm so tired of trying to make local friends who I really enjoy and connect with. I don't think there is anything worse than getting together with someone you "kind of" like, and then gritting your teeth most of the time you are together just to do something social.
I am lucky enough to have a most wonderful woman in my life who I have been best friends with since 9th grade. The unlucky part is we have never lived right down the street from each other. At one time, we were about an hour away. Then, I moved to Michigan and we were 12 hours away. Now, I live in Delaware and we are 2 hours away.

Most importantly...we are only a phone call away. We talk on the phone about an hour a day, almost EVERY day. She gets me through all my hard times, she laughs with me through funny times and she cries with me through sad times. She is my play date, my shopping day, my trip to the park. She is my "Want to get together for coffee?" I love her to death, and I don't know what I would do without her.

So, if you're like me and can't quite connect with local women, "phone friends" are just as important. Just pick up the phone.

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